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Pigskin picks
Leapin' Leprechauns!
Worries about U-M defense didn't abate with Notre Dame's rout of Pitt.
If Lloyd Carr isn't sleeping much these days, well, we understand why. First of all, he had to spend last Saturday watching his defenders cleverly sidestep opposing ball carriers. Then, he had to hear know-it-all fans and know-it-more media react to Michigan's opener -- technically a victory, if you do the math -- in a manner best summed up by one word: Puhtooooey!
It's never easy being Carr, who merely faces a season-defining game about every other week. Now the opponent is Notre Dame, and if Michigan fans watched the Irish's 42-21 opening romp against Pitt, they surely had three thoughts.
First thought: Uh-oh.
Second thought: Notre Dame will beat Michigan 63-21.
Third thought: Dang, when did Notre Dame hire comic actor John Goodman as coach?
Actually, his name is Charlie Weis and he replaced Tyrone Willingham, who replaced George O'Leary, who replaced Bob Davie, who replaced Lou Holtz, who was irreplaceable.
Before stumbling across Weis, the Irish also interviewed, among others, Urban Meyer, Jon Gruden, Marty Mornhinweg and Condoleezza Rice.
Listen. I'm not saying the once-mighty Irish have struggled to regain their identity. I'm just saying they considered replacing their irritating little Leprechaun mascot with a Native-American Leprechaun, just so they could be part of a raging national debate again.
Oh, they're part of it now, thanks to Weis and his annoyingly diverse offense.
Based on his first victory, there's every possibility Weis will make the Michigan-Notre Dame rivalry as heated as, say, Michigan State-Hawaii.
(Breaking news: Still peeved that officials in Hawaii called 16 completely unwarranted penalties on Michigan State last season, the Spartans have taken the drastic step of putting Spartan Bob back on the stadium clock. Also, George Perles will hold the first-down markers.)
Carr can't sleep, and Michigan fans can't stop fretting because no matter how many times the Irish screw up, and no matter how many coaching changes they bungle, and no matter how many times they lose to Michigan 38-0, they keep rising up, like the dentally-challenged villain in the 2000 horror classic, "Leprechaun 5: Leprechaun in the 'Hood."
What Weis is doing isn't fair, of course. He was the offensive coordinator at New England, where he won a bunch of Super Bowls and learned how to run a sophisticated offense from Michigan great Tom Brady. He then brought it to South Bend, where the only sophisticated act in Notre Dame's offense the past few years was the occasional pump-fake.
Weis inherits another veteran quarterback, (Tom) Brady Quinn, who helped lead the Irish to last year's 28-20 shocker over the Wolverines. Now, as we await Saturday's showdown in Ann Arbor, people are either overreacting to Notre Dame's new offense (not us!), or overreacting to Michigan's same-ol', lame-ol' defense (OK, that's us!).
After the Wolverines surrendered 411 yards to an unidentified MAC team, Carr initially explained it away by suggesting defense no longer was permitted in college football. Two days later, after lying awake counting missed tackles, he sounded so depressed, you'd think he'd lost his opener to TCU or something. (Note to Oklahoma's Bob Stoops: Hand over that Next Great Genius crown).
Notre Dame no longer appears to be a simple warm-up before Michigan's biggie with Eastern Michigan, so the Wolverines better be ready.
There's a new Weis guy in town, and although he downplays the rivalry, that'll change the first time a Michigan defender viciously upends one of his fancy ball carriers after a 14-yard gain. Pick: Michigan 38-34. (Yes, for you gambling heathens, the Irish cover the seven-point spread.)
Hawaii at Michigan State: An ugly rivalry keeps getting nastier, with Spartans coach John W. Smith and Warriors coach June "July" Jones refusing to exchange game tapes. Hey, could someone lend these guys a VCR? Pick: Michigan State 70-49.
Texas at Ohio State: This is such a big game, the Buckeyes might even bring back Maurice Clarett. In another vicious tape-exchange battle, Michigan begged Texas not to send the Buckeyes footage of the Rose Bowl. Pick: Ohio State 24-20.
Temple at Wisconsin: Maybe Michigan should do what the Badgers did in their 56-42 victory over Bowling Green. Just treat defense as a waste of time until you get your high-powered offense back on the field! Pick: Wisconsin 56-14.
Iowa at Iowa State: This is a classic clash between two ... aw, I'm tired. Pick: Iowa 31-20.
Pigskin picks You can reach Bob Wojnowski at bob.wojnowski@detnews.com
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