Hefty hopefuls pound out the beat in tryouts for Pistons' Spare Tires

Gregg Krupa / The Detroit News

Auburn Hills -- This is one of the few cheerleading gigs in which starvation diets, tummy tucks and breast augmentation are irrelevant, and 1,000-calorie breakfasts are accepted as the price that simply must be paid.

"I had French toast this morning," said T.J. Engle of Pontiac, who auditioned Wednesday for the Pistons' Spare Tires dance team. "Eight pieces."

"I had five eggs for breakfast," said Ash Hoffmann of Sterling Heights, a Spare Tire from last year who enjoyed it so much, he tried out again.

"I had 12 wings from Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch," said Andre Belue of Novi, laughing and flashing a million-dollar, cheerleader's smile.

"Double cheeseburger, from Burger King," Quincy Moore of Detroit said.

Ah, the glitz and glamour of a cheerleader's life! Pound down some carbs, don't spare the fat, forget those celery sticks, rip off your shirt, shake your XXXXL booty and let that flab fly, baby.

But just because they are heavy on the scale does not mean these 240- to 350-pounders aren't light on their feet.

"There are definitely some guys who are very, very coordinated," said Rebecca Girard, a former cheerleader and the dance team's director for the Pistons. "It doesn't surprise me at all.

"The allure is that they are just like us, just like everyone. And they can dance. And they have no inhibitions. They don't really care. They know what they look like, and they are proud."

The camaraderie and fun drives the two dozen big guys who showed up to drill on the floor of The Palace. Some say they find themselves in dance clubs throughout Metro Detroit on weekends; others say they just love the Pistons and want to have a bigger part of that experience than cheering from the stands or from the La-Z-Boy in the living room -- with some brewskis, chips and French onion dip within arm's reach, of course.

A few of the guys had a bit of trouble making it up the 28 steps that lead from the West Atrium to the concourse to sign in. And Girard made sure they knew ample supplies and quick medical assistance were at hand.

"We have water coolers, over there," Girard said, as her obese crew gathered at center court. "And if, for some reason, you are not feeling well, we have EMS."

She need not have bothered.

It would have been difficult for the guys to miss the paramedics. They were sitting right next to the new courtside advertisements for the Angus Third Pounders from McDonald's.

These are guys who, when approached for interviews, reposition their pants to really extend their guts.

"I'm not here with a tummy tuck," Nick Quintanilla of Flint said. "I'm here to untuck."

There was ample huffing and puffing and NBA-player-quantities of perspiration, as Girard and three members of Automotion -- the only folks around with 22-inch waists -- put the boys through their paces. But the guys were all having a ton of fun.

Laughter outscored the grunting by double figures.

All of which is good because there is not much money in this game: A minimal stipend for each of several appearances during the year, an outside promotion or two and an occasional charity event.

"It's a great brotherhood between the dance team members," said Belue, a Spare Tire from last year, who like all veterans must show his stuff again, each year, to make the team. "It's great performing in front of the live crowd and to just give our spirit and enthusiasm to the Pistons to help them win, and so they'll have a great season."

There are some perks, though.

Taping a pregame spot for Fox Sports, Eli Zaret brought a prop: a large bowl full of Hostess Twinkies, Cupcakes and the like.

Good thing Zaret finished in one take. Some guys ate his prop.

And Jimmy John's showed up with some free samples. They wouldn't last long, either.

Eating aside, there is little doubt the Spare Tires get off on the connection they have established with the crowd at The Palace. It is not often men stand to applaud and women shriek for a bunch of fat guys who strip to the waist and shake -- well, shake everything they bring.

"It's the wow factor," said Lee Powell, of Farmington Hills, explaining the fascination. "It's a way to support the fans, to support the Pistons and to be a part of something even bigger than me."

gregg.krupa@detnews.com